you're under attack » zombie killing

Zombie Idol – Seacrest Out

Gabby — Fri, 22 May 2009 02:53:20 +0000

Frankly, I was sad that Ryan Seacrest wasn’t turned into a zombie and summarily killed.

Let this video be a lesson. Never use zombies for your amusement, however terrible their singing may be and desperate they are for stardom.

Zombie Eating Habits

Gabby — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:07:14 +0000

A quick break down of a well-balanced zombie diet. Remember, you can never have enough brains.

Image courtesy of BlueCirclet.com

Zombie Baby Crying

Gabby — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:04:49 +0000

The title speaks for itself. This zombie baby should have had it’s head smashed in by now. It’s just cruel to let it “live.”

Zombie Versus Japanese Kids

Gabby — Mon, 18 May 2009 14:32:40 +0000

You have to hand it to these youngsters in this zombie attack. They sure know a thing or two about defeating a member of the undead.

These Japanese children were lucky there was only one though. Had their been even 2 more zombies their tactics would have failed and they surely would have turned into nourishment.

But if they are fortunate enough to live a few more years, their zombie fighting skills will be unparalleled. I’ll be following these kids’ zombie killing careers closely.

Zombiephilia – Part 3 of 3 Of A Zombie Sex And Love Exposé

Gabby — Thu, 14 May 2009 08:38:47 +0000

We try to discourage zombie love for all the obvious reasons: death, infection, dismemberment, looking crazy. But there will be those who will ignore our dire warnings anyway.

So in an effort to avoid emulating the pope and Catholic church, we won’t say abstinence is the only way. Instead we are telling you to never engage in zombie sex and love BUT if you must, then proceed with these warnings and tips in mind. Think of them as your condom.

Here are ten tips in total, split up into zombie love and zombie sex. Have fun.

5 Zombie Love Tips:

1. Emotional intimacy is difficult, understandably. Trick your mind into thinking your zombie partner’s gurgles and moans are in fact terms of endearment and vows of everlasting love. Your relationship is already in denial so just go with the flow.

2. Muzzle your zombie lover.

3. Keep them chained up at all times and locked in a kennel at night or when you are out.

4. Not all zombies are the same. Just because your friend’s zombie girlfriend is docile at dusk doesn’t mean yours will be too.

5. They are reanimated corpses. Feel free to use and abuse.

5 Zombie Sex Tips:

1. Disinfect all areas of contact after coitus.

2. Knock out all their teeth. You know why.

3. Seriously. Use a condom. You don’t want dead flakes of flesh and skin rotting in your private areas.

4. While erotic nibbling and biting is tempting, don’t do it. Infection can spread if there is a cut in your mouth.

5. Don’t have sex with a zombie.

Image courtesy of brainslide.

The Zombie-Killing Exploits Of 2 Small Asian Girls

Gabby — Wed, 06 May 2009 09:24:56 +0000

Round and round and round we go. Where we stop nobody knows.

Well, now you will. If you follow us on Twitter that is.

You can track down our whereabouts at
http://twitter.com/ureunderattack

It’s a dangerous life and we gotta keep moving. First the zombies, then the governments and their corresponding agencies, and now the underground syndicates.

Join us on our adventures around the world as we bludgeon zombie after zombie and reveal truth after truth!