Round and round and round we go. Where we stop nobody knows.
Well, now you will. If you follow us on Twitter that is.
It’s a dangerous life and we gotta keep moving. First the zombies, then the governments and their corresponding agencies, and now the underground syndicates.
Join us on our adventures around the world as we bludgeon zombie after zombie and reveal truth after truth!
…yes, they’re cute, cuddly, and they’re trying to eat your flesh.
It’s unfortunate when an infant or small child becomes a dead zombie baby but they’re also easier to kill. There’s a silver lining on every cloud.
If you suspect someone of having a zombie baby, I suggest you act quickly before the infection spreads. Parents are often weak in such situations and have trouble coming to terms with terminating their offspring. This is where you come in.
The choice is up to you whether you want to confront the parents or not. In my opinion, it’s best to avoid confrontation. Parents can quickly become hostile and irrational and your life will be in danger.
It’s best to get rid of the zombie baby in secret. Should you decide to alert the parents of what you are about to do, bring a friend, and be prepared for the worst. Often the parents will be more dangerous than the zombie baby itself.
During my daily research, I had the misfortune of stumbling across this picture. From the costuming, I can only deduce that this was taken somewhere in North Africa, perhaps Morocco or Tunisia. Child brides are a sad and disgusting fact of life and zombie child brides are a true testament to the depravity of mankind.
Using my expert skills of investigation, I managed to track down the source of the photograph. Well, as close as I could. The man who took this photo had long since died but according to his son, the photo was taken during the Rif War in 1920 in Morocco. War was on everyone’s mind. It was the perfect time for human trafficking. According to the photographer’s son, his father needed an extra dime and after a long journey through the Rif mountains he landed in the small town of Tetouan.
Something happened in Tetouan. The son couldn’t tell me; he had no idea. But his father ended up with these 3 zombie child brides. He got rid of the child brides and pocketed a decent profit. Rumour has it that either the Spanish were doing some experiments or that General Franco had a weird fetish.
1920 - 3 Moroccan Zombie Child Brides
In order to fully understand and defeat our zombie enemy and prevent an apocalypse, we need to know the root cause of the infection.
There have been a myriad of speculations and estimates as to how the zombie apocalypse will come about. That’s the scary thing. All of them could be true.
Now we all know that fiction mirrors reality (or is it the other way around) and what better way to explain the zombie infection than to analyze the zombie movie classics.
Sure, we can’t believe everything we read on the internet or see on tv, but in this case these movies are based on reality and steeped in factual accuracy (or at least try to be). I found this article that seeks to accomplish an analytical review of zombie movies to find an explanation. Have a read, you may find it more useful than investing your hard earned dollars on another shotgun.
Seeing as how we’ve been blogging about zombie sex and love for the past few days, we thought that this would be appropriate. While we do not condone having sex with a zombie in anyway, the guide does provide us with some humorous content.
This well-illustrated guide sheds some light on sex between zombies as well as what sex between a zombie and non-zombie would be like. Though highly inaccurate, seeing as how there is no sex drive within the army of the living dead, the guide does give us a laugh. And that’s what we all need should there ever be a full-scale zombie attack.
You won’t always be prepared for a zombie attack. The members of the undead are not to be underestimated and often attack in the form of a blitzkrieg. The video below exemplifies the creativity one must muster in order to combat a zombie attack. You won’t always have your Winchester rifle or hacksaw handy. The Chainsaw Maid is a wonderful example of loyalty and ingenuity. Using a broom and then a nearby lamp she wards off the zombies until she can get her hands on a chainsaw. This video also demonstrates that one need not be a 250-lbs man to do the job right.
Life is hard enough as it is, what with the living dead and the rising price of fuel. So don’t complicate your life any further by becoming involved with a zombie. I am here to warn you about falling in love with a zombie post infection. You may know someone in this situation or you yourself may already be in this predicament. Girls have long been fascinated with the “bad boy” stereotype and men may even find sex with a crazy bitch more exciting but when it comes down to it these relationships are poison and in the case of a zombie will most likely result in a fate worse than death.
I'm Gabby, digital marketer by day, aspiring [fill in the blank] by night.
