Editor’s Note: While we do not condone this type of thinking, we are publishing it in the spirit of discussion. A feisty resistance-filled attitude is always better than this defeatist outlook. But in the pursuit of intellectual debate, tell us what you think in the comments below.
Today there are so many movies, books and even *cough* websites dedicated to the oncoming zombie apocalypse and how to survive. All these overlook a certain reaction one could take when faced with one of these human brain eating and slow walking mutations… say fuck it and go with the flow.
As much as movies depict realistic and probable situations, the chances of surviving the zombie evolution as a human are nil. The zombie virus is more contagious than swine flu and twice as awesome.
I don’t know about you, but joining the ranks of the undead seems pretty sweet to me. You stumble around all day, chowing down on delicious braaaaaaaaains. Being a zombie would totally have major perks, like not worrying about dying. Standing around moaning and grunting all day would save so much wasted effort on syllables and enunciation, energy which could be put towards precious eating.
I mean, what are you leaving behind really? It was probably only a matter of months before your boss found you hanging from your cubicle because you found out that the words synergy, corporate social responsibility and 401K don’t really mean anything. Or the cats you’ve been collecting, in lieu of real human contact, realize that your internal organs are much tastier than the stale sour cream you’ve been feeding them.
There is no IF the zombie evolution will take place, it is just a matter of when. So in the words of that 12th grade boy who took your virginity in the back of a ’93 Toyota Corolla: Just let it happen.
Marney Beliveau
Zombie in training
from Frick We Love Cats.
Image courtesy of thieverr.
I'm Gabby, digital marketer by day, aspiring [fill in the blank] by night.
